Why articles are neither funny nor interesting, according to someone who prefers pictures

Articles are all grounded in one premise, people like to read. Which is bad because, are you just supposed to read everything? What about life, life isn’t words.

Suffice to say: Reading is bad. Sexual harassers are quite often readers. Thats right, I have no shame.

A google search for articles reveals billions exist, but who wants that. And why are people doing it. Literally most articles don’t interest me and by that logic I think it’s inherent value is nil. I acknowledge people do it en masse, but it’s wrong to do, I hope that (and my rationale are) clear. Do articles make people get vaccinated, I literally have no idea. But I don’t like that either.

Maybe this is definitely just me, but when I read an article I find authors (more like jerks, am I right? Yes, my appeal is universal) are often trying to make a picture in your mind, but it’s just words on a page, isn’t it? I honestly don’t know, but don’t worry if you’re confused by my exact perspective, it’s complicated because I claim to both have an insight, and be removed from the subject. Life’s hard for me generally, maybe that’s because I don’t have any real opinions, or maybe that’s because I write articles under an alias. I’m quirky and smarter than you.

Feel free to comment below where I won’t respond because my interest in this subject is limited to its ability to causing so much outraged web activity amongst “authors” that it convinces the ChicagoReader to let me write another article.

But what would I write about next: Maybe I’ll write something about how stand up is hilarious 100% of the time, but probably not because I’m a hypocrite.

Don’t read this: https://m.chicagoreader.com/chicago/improv-worst/Content?oid=37064111

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